Preventing Limiting Beliefs: 5 Questions to Ask Yourself

"If I'm generous with my time and energy, other people will take advantage of me and I will come out on the losing end"

Here is an example of a negative thought that can turn into a deeply ingrained limiting belief if left unchecked.

This is a real example and it almost happened to me recently.

I work with people to dismantle and uproot their already limiting beliefs and that's great in and of itself.

But at the same time, we are constantly in motion... constantly interacting with those around us.

And each of our actions and interactions has the potential to create a limiting belief for ourselves here and now, that will affect our present and our future.

What I want for you, is not only empower and guide you to uproot your already existing limiting beliefs. It's also to make sure that you don't catch any new limiting beliefs. Like the one that was threatening to plant its roots in my psyche.

But how did that sneaky thought even arrive there you ask ?

Well... it crept in insidiously after a string of unpleasant interactions.

You know, the ones where you give your time and energy because someone is important to you, or you want to nurture the relationship or do something kind for them, and in return, you get... nothing - or worse, something negative?

Yeah... I know you know what I mean. We've all been there, right?

When faced with these kinds of situations, my coach brain does knows that there are dozens of alternative explanations for people's reactions, ranging from "it's not about me at all" to "not everyone thinks the same way" to "it's just bad luck"...

...it doesn't prevent my woman's heart from taking a hit and bleeding. And that's the perfect breeding ground for a seed of limiting belief to start taking root...if I'm unaware of what's happening and if I let it go on until it's too late and the seed becomes a nasty weed.

And trust me, that's not a seed I wanted to see grow. Because if I had let that seed take root, the result it would have created for me would have been the opposite of how I want to live and interact with the people in my life.

The result of that belief for me would have been : "Ok well, if I get taken advantage of when I'm generous with my time and energy... then I won't give anything to anyone anymore".

Not very generous, is it ?

As someone who holds generosity (or abundance) among her core values, you can understand why I couldn't allow that seed to sprout.

So, how do we go about preventing a seed of limiting belief from taking root?

Let me share with you the 5 questions I tirelessly asked myself until this thought lost its hold on me. Feel free to use them liberally for your own negative thoughts and prevent them from taking root.

• What emotion do I feel when my brain offers me this thought?

Allow yourself to feel all the unpleasant emotions that come up. Then take a deep breath and ask yourself this...

• Am I absolutely certain that what I am thinking is true?

Your brain might come up with an immediate answer that will be enough to fight off the negative thought and this can be all you need.

However, if you're still unsure, ask yourself : "Do I have at least one example to the contrary?" I'll bet you can find at least one, if not half a dozen.

But if you're still stuck, you can ask for help to change your perspective on things. Go ahead and share what's on your mind with someone else and explicitly ask for help in challenging your interpretation and negative thinking. (Btw, this is exactly why people chose to work with a life coach)

Which takes us to our third question...

• What other story can I tell myself about what happened?

There are 100 ways to see a situation. 100 possible alternatives. 100 possible scenarios.

When you get stuck on a negative thought, you allow your brain to provide you with only one alternative.

You are so much bigger and more powerful than that. And so is your brain.

Challenge it by giving it the task of finding the other 99 alternative scenarios.

• What result would this thought create in my life if I let it take root?

Permission granted to be as grim and bleak as you want to be here.

• What thought do I want to nourish and practice instead of my initial thought?

Feel free to take these questions for a spin if you have a negative thought that keeps finding its way back to that sweet brain of yours. You can take it a step further by making these 5 questions your knee-jerk reaction to any negative thought you have from here on out.

By doing it consistently, it will become second nature for you to identify those negative thoughts and intentionally choose positive or neutral thoughts instead. This is one step you can take today, that will help you cultivate fulfilling relationships, whether with yourself or others.

If you need a little push to adopt this practice, you can book your free consult call by clicking on the button below.

Together, we can explore how coaching can support you in building healthy and fulfilling relationships.

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